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3 Reasons Why Independent Women Are Often Overlooked

Many single women have their ish together. We’ve got the education, the house, the car, the clothes, great credit scores, and an active social life with friends. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want and need a loving romantic partner in our lives. Here are some reasons I believe we independent ladies are passed by.

1.) Men want to fix things.

Therefore, women like me, who can pay their own car registration, not in search of a place to live and can feed themselves without a problem are thought to have no non-sexual needs at all. Untrue! But if he’d like to pay my mortgage, go right ahead.

Should I pretend to be stranded next to a ditch with no roadside assistance and in tears to attract a guy? Things that make you go, hmmmm.

My love language is Acts of Service. I receive love by things being done for me without a formal request. If you know I’m moving, offer to help. If I’ve shared with you that I’m on a path to accomplish a certain goal, and you have a contact to move it further along, suggest an introduction etc.

It’s not about fixing. But more about adding to a woman’s life as she adds to his.

2.) People create an imaginary partner for the independent woman because she could not possibly be as awesome by herself, right?

Well that’s kind of true.

My parents were who poured into me, making sure I went to college. It was just expected that I do so AND graduate. I was taught by them to be responsible, self-sufficient, neat and appropriately dressed. The latter two things that an outsider looking in may see as being the traits of a lady with a husband or at least a monogamous beau.


I have been told multiple times that I “look like I have a man”. I tend to think that is the excuse some men use not to approach me because they fear rejection. You’ll never know until you try guys (wink). However, if you don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of that’s a different bag of burritos and it is probably best that time isn’t wasted.

3.) We are “high maintenance”.

I love a bi-weekly mani/pedi, hair appointments, a handbag I can afford. All of which I pay for.

I wonder if men think that if they embark upon a relationship with someone like me, they will be required to take over financing my rituals?

An older gentleman I struck up a conversation with in the grocery store complimented me on my hair style. After I thanked him he added “I know that’s a lot of money to keep up. I’d take one look at you (while he looked me up and down) and say, high maintenance.” His face then held and expression that would indicate “No thank you”.

Bottom line, independent women are the way we are because this show of life must go on with or without a partner. Who wants to wait around for a healthy relationship to travel, purchase property, start a business or be a mom (if that’s your thing)?

My motto is, I’m celebrating my now! I’ll be ready once a man gets on board to add to what I’ve already begun.

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